Almost 12 years ago, now, I had to spend 18 weeks in my bed with very limited interpersonal and online interaction. I’m not here AT ALL to argue the benefits or deficits of bedrest (the mileage I got out of my extreme rescue cerclage may vary from yours, and in the end we got lucky that solid medical science and a lot of privilege got us a good outcome), but instead am here to share what it turns out is ALL ENTIRELY idiosyncratic to me about spending that amount of time in my house.
— you’re going to get to know yourself really, really, really well. Learn to love what you learn, even if it doesn’t feel lovable at first. Appreciate you. You’re doing this!
— your family may act in ways that are very different from “usual.” Be gentle. Everyone will process this whole experience differently.
— be prepared to experience sudden and unexpected severe revulsion to a room, a color, a piece of furniture in your house that you previously loved — now or at some random point in the future. Same goes for food items.
— even if you keep a routine going, be prepared for day/night reversals, non-24, and other super odd things. Know if this is something you can roll with or if it’s going to bother your mental or physical health. I roll with it, but I’m lucky, and not everybody can. Earplugs and sleep masks can help a little, if you’re able to do that.
— we’re about to overwhelm our already-fragile mental health infrastructure, but be persistent about reaching out if needed or finding an advocate to do so for you.
— if you are able, move around your space, get outside, keep moving. If you do nothing else, do squats EVERY DAY. It’s really easy to melt into the furniture, but later, your lower back will HATE you for it. McKenzie worked for me really well for PT in the aftermath.
— compression socks. consider wearing compression socks!
— this is obvious, but balance what you eat, and eat a little less. Keep an eye on your body’s solid waste output to know if you’re eating the right things and moving around enough.
— indulge your interests. I watched 8 seasons of Murder, She Wrote TWICE (seasons 9+ weren’t available on DVD yet at the time, and streaming wasn’t really a thing yet). I re-read EVERY Agatha Christie book, in alphabetical order by title (this is NOT a way people typically do this). I read every Nero Wolfe book on my shelf (not a complete collection at the time, but close). Waste of time???? Well, in 2014 when J.C. Bernthal issued the CFP for the first of what was to become a series of Agatha Christie (then expanding into Golden Age) scholarly conferences, edited volumes, journal issues, etc., I was READY. I have a fruitful and rewarding research agenda applying information theories to detective fiction. But even if it hadn’t, I enjoyed it immensely, so it was worth it to ME.
–use all the senses that you have. If you can, listen to sounds, smell smells. I never knew I could spend several hours watching the tops of pine and oak trees wave in the breeze, but it turns out, I CAN.
— as long as we have an infrastructure, enjoy it. looking back, if we’d had restaurant delivery via smartphone app, and ninety million streaming services, oh my! But see above — I might have frittered away my time rather than focusing on long-term projects of reading & watching, and deprived myself of an opportunity later (which also might have been just fine as an outcome — not everything has to be about production!)
— related: for those of us with resources to do so, the ability to make donations online now is awesome — rather than the exciting but later-unfortunate experience of buying a whole bunch of stuff online that you don’t need, make online donations, as you are able, to help your community.
Specifically for those with folks for whom you are caring (not just children…):
— having gone through this with our older child (he was 4 during my 18 week hiatus), I also fully subscribe to the model of “i threw him some fish sticks and by the end of the day we were all alive. success.” Did you spend all day bingeing Phineas and Ferb? Playing Uno with 4 different “themed” decks shuffled together? Taking a nap together? Super. Plenty. Did they feel loved? Perfect.
— my last ones come from the time when the kiddos were earthside, and relate to working from home “with” family: I wrote a peer-reviewed journal article, with a lit review and data and data analysis and everything, that was published in a very highly ranked journal in my field, on my phone, while nursing a baby (I also read Anna Karenina on my phone during this same time period). At another time, I worked from home for an entire year while our on-campus building was closed, while my child and an age-mate were co-babysat inside my home with all the noise that comes from vigorous play between toddlers (did I mention privilege?!?). Many of us are working “with” family right now; it’s not easy, but it’s doable, even without additional support (I’ve done that, too). Be gentle with yourself.
— and finally… oh, heck, I have no “finally.” Idiosyncratic. Privileged. But maybe useful. And be mindful of that non-24 or day/night reversal thing! It’s already happening to me again!